And I’ve never felt more panicked in my life. All the other medical diagnoses I’ve had over the years never made me feel more vulnerable than this one and perhaps it’s because I didn’t even see it coming or suspect it or request that I be tested for it.
I went into the doctor for my regular yearly pap smear back in late October and also requested that my iron and B12 levels be checked. He suggested a full blood work up and checked about 20 things.
My brain is so full of questions as I try to discern what caused this…
Is it the soy I ate?
Is it the wine I drank?
Is it the walnuts I ate?
Do I even have ADHD and could it have been hypothyroidism all along?
Is it the constant stress?
Is it all the PCB’s in everything?
Is it age?
Is it the amalgam fillings in my teeth?
Is it the fluoride in the water?
Is it hereditary or genetic?
Is it the Pepsi?
Or is it that women are like honey bees and we are sensitive to all these things and no one cause can ever be pinpointed as it is the bio-accumulative effect of all things.
I went and had the blood taken near the end of October and never made an appointment to get the results back as the doc doesn’t call if anything shows up. Well, the phone rings and they say to come in for an appointment. I assumed it was that my B12 or iron was low, but it wasn’t. All the other blood test results were excellent, even my cholesterol was extremely low with the good cholesterol being super high which is what you want.
The doc tells me he suspects Hypothyroidism as my TSH level was at 6.94 during the appointment in early November. I stare at him and say nothing. What is a thyroid and where the hell is it in my body and what the heck does it do and why is it hypo?
He fills out the yellow form to get more blood tests, and hands it to me, which I put off for another six weeks until last week when Mom phones saying she needs me to travel to the hospital with her in case she feels faint and unable to drive after some getting tests that she needed done. I say OK and figured I’d get my blood tests taken at the same time. The nurse asks me… Are you on blood thinners as she drains blood from my arm? I say no. I’ve always had very low blood pressure and thin blood. I once had a coagulation test when my chron’s was active and didn’t stop bleeding for 11.5 minutes which is at the very high end of acceptable but still OK.
Four days later the phone rings and it’s the doctor’s office saying I need to come into the office ASAP. Luckily there was a cancellation and I got into the office yesterday morning. My Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) levels had more than doubled to 17.23 since my last blood tests causing my thyroid to be even more Hypo which means that it is underactive.
At parents and crying at 5:00PM in their kitchen.
I feel depressed and frustrated right now and have read way too much about Hypothyroidism online and must ween my self off immediately as it’s making me sad that my doc didn’t do all the thyroid blood tests I asked about and refuses to even think about treating me desiccated thyroid which is the natural alternative.
And maybe that’s why I drew butterflies in grade one. I knew.
Anyhow, I’ve been prescribed 50mcg of Synthroid, to replace the hormone my body doesn’t seem to want to produce, per day and began taking it this morning. About an hour after taking it my ears began ringing like a chainsaw and my shoulders relaxed but my chest and arms hurt and I’m not looking forward to shoveling snow tomorrow and I feel like going back to bed again and again and again but the heart palpitations and buzzing keep me awake even though I’m exhausted. I’ve cancelled or put on hold all custom work and the showing of rental rooms for the next week until my body adjusts.
The doctor is sending me for an ECG to check my *heart and have more blood tests done in six weeks time to see how I’m reacting to the drug. I haven’t been with it lately (a very very very long time) and normal stresses that everyone else seems to be able to cope with I am not able to. I guess I’m not that crazy after all and there really was something wrong even though I was trying desperately to ignore it and struggle through with everyday life for years.
If I could just stop crying, laughing, being angry or whatever other emotion seems to jolt into being lately and feel more level headed and able to focus then I guess I’m the road to recovery?
*I experienced a black-out, grey-out or fainting while sitting at my desk midday eating lunch here in the studio. I thought the house was sinking to the left and then my computer screen began to tunnel away into a black hole. Little did I know that it was me falling to the left and luckily I came to and grabbed the desk with my hands and snapped to. My balance was off for most of 2010.
I am happily packaging orders though and travelling to the Post Office a few days a week to keep working as I need some income to survive. So, all 2011 fine art wall, desk and digital calendars are reduced by 25% until my stock runs out in my Etsy Shop and on HandmadeCloud.
